Parents Starting to Fight Back Against Schools That Ignore Bullying

Two important stories that should worry school officials, both public AND private. Both stories come from the New York Times. I put these stories forth, to show some parents are fighting back and getting some measure of justice for the loss of their child and it may encourage parents who have kids being bullied not to give up on the system. That it took lawsuits to get there isn't good but it puts every kind of school on notice.

The first story came out in April of 2023 about Jack Reid, a 17-year old "at one of the nation's elite boarding schools" who killed himself.

On Sunday, the anniversary of Jack’s death, the Lawrenceville School in New Jersey offered an extraordinary admission of failure, publicly acknowledging that it had been aware that Jack was being bullied by other students, but that it had fallen “tragically short” of its obligation to protect him.

“The school acknowledges that bullying and unkind behavior, and actions taken or not taken by the school, likely contributed to Jack’s death,” Lawrenceville officials wrote in a statement posted Sunday morning on the school’s website.

Lawrenceville’s statement said that its settlement with the Reids was aimed at “honoring Jack, taking appropriate responsibility and instituting meaningful changes that will support the school’s aspirations of becoming a model for anti-bullying and student mental health.”

The statement was part of a negotiated settlement with Jack’s parents, Elizabeth and Bill Reid.

The story explains how Jack did well in his first year at the school. But in the spring of 2021 the bullying started. Someone was claiming he was a rapist. When he came back to the school in Fall 2021, he got elected as the president of his house and that apparently sparked some jealous anger from some students who restarted the rumor. It got put onto a national student-run app for boarding school pupils.

Earlier on Jack had asked school officials for help. The school found the accusation untrue and talked to a classmate who seemed to be instigating the rumor (the student was expelled later but for other reasons). However, none of this was ever told to Jack or his parents. And the school never made any public statement about their investigation and its findings.

Jack asked his parents at Christmas when it would all stop.

The school also allowed this to happen:

The school also acknowledged that it had erred more specifically on the night Jack took his life, just hours after the classmate involved in the bullying was formally expelled. Instead of being supervised as he packed his belongings, the boy was permitted to participate in a drawn-out farewell that included a final run around campus and a group photograph. During the gathering, some students also made harsh comments about Jack, inaccurately blaming him for the boy’s expulsion.

“School administrators did not notify or check on Jack,” the school’s statement acknowledged. “That night, Jack took his life, telling a friend that he could not go through this again.”

To note: 

Christine Yu Moutier, chief medical officer for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, said the causes of suicide were always complex and were never tied to only one stressor.

“Bullying absolutely can be an important factor that can be part of the multi-factor convergence of things that culminates in suicide,” Dr. Moutier said in an interview, speaking generally and not about Jack Reid’s death or any other specific incident. “But it is not thought, in any case of suicide, to be the sole cause.”

The other story involves a public school and a girl named Mallory Grossman who took her own life at 12.

A New Jersey school district has agreed to pay $9.1 million to the parents of a sixth grader who died by suicide in 2017, ending a lawsuit that accused administrators of failing to take bullying complaints seriously.

Dianne and Seth Grossman sued following the death of their 12-year-old daughter, Mallory, during her first year at Copeland Middle School in Rockaway Township. Mallory had been repeatedly bullied by other students in text and Snapchat messages, and although administrators were routinely contacted about the bullying, the school did not do enough to respond, according to the lawsuit

It does not appear that Mallory's case was like Jack's case but how it was handled was as bad.

Mallory was a cheerleader and gymnast who loved the outdoors, her parents said. They had no reason to believe that she was depressed or had other medical issues, they told The New York Times in 2018. However, she would often tell them that she was having bad days at school.

“She wanted help, but she didn’t want to draw attention,” Ms. Grossman said at the time.

In one instance, the school asked Mallory and her bullies to “hug each other,” according to the lawsuit. When she was bullied at lunch, she was directed to eat in a counselor’s office.

“There is this attack on the victim to ‘suck it up,’” Ms. Grossman said at the time. “I knew they weren’t taking it seriously.”

As concern for the mental health of American teenagers has grown since the start of the pandemic, the role that administrators can play has become a key issue for school communities.

After her death, her parents fought back, for themselves and other parents and students.

For Mallory’s parents, holding the school accountable for what they believe to be its role in the circumstances that led to her death was the key reason for their lawsuit. The settlement terms of lawsuits are not always made public, but Mr. Nagel said the $9.1 million agreement with the school district is the largest bullying settlement that he is aware of anywhere in the country.

“Ready to put this part behind us and move forward,” she told the outlet. “Continuing to lend our voice to the epidemic that is stealing our children’s future.”

Mallory’s death, and her parents’ advocacy in the years that followed, led to the passage of Mallory’s Law in New Jersey last year. The law substantially strengthened the state’s bullying policies, according to Mr. Nagel, and required all schools to be far more active in preventing it. Her family also founded Mallory’s Army, an anti-bullying foundation.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or go to SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for a list of additional resources.