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Saturday, August 31, 2019

Singin' in the Acid Rain

To start off the new school year, a very funny article that sends up both our planet's pending environmental problems with overly involved parents.  From the New Yorker, Singin' in the Acid Rain.

As we prepare for our end-of-term barbecue, a few of you have asked whether the event will be cancelled because Thursday’s forecast calls for increased yuckiness. No way! Didn’t we learn in October that when life gives you wildfires, make s’mores?

Hey, I hope everyone is psyched for our year-end field trip to the Newest Jersey Hot Springs, which used to be the Delaware Cold Springs, which used to be the Amazon.com Rain Forest and, before that, the island formerly known as Prince Edward. We still have not heard from many of you about whether you’d like to reserve a Level A hazmat suit for your child or supply your own. On the permission slip, don’t forget to check the box that prioritizes “Breathing” over “Once-in-a-Lifetime Experience.”

I almost forgot to tell you that yesterday, while Mr. Alvarez was showing us the potatoes that came out of his garden already roasted by that thing in the sky we thought was a rainbow, our gerbil gave birth to an offspring but that we don’t know yet if it’s an animal, a vegetable, or a mineral (2.3 ounces). We named it Spatula.
Sending regards to young environmental activist, Greta Thunberg, who just traveled across the Atlantic by boat to NYC as she doesn't fly because of the pollution by fossil fuels.  A recent tweet of hers:

When haters go after your looks and differences, it means they have nowhere left to go. And then you know you’re winning! I have Aspergers and that means I’m sometimes a bit different from the norm. And - given the right circumstances- being different is a superpower. #aspiepower