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Saturday, June 02, 2012

PE Teachers

I heard a guy on NPR this morning who does voice imitations and he said something that made me smile (and wonder if other people had this experience).

He imitated his high school PE teacher who said, "Okay gentlemen, line up."

It struck me because I recall both my middle and high school PE teachers always calling us "ladies."

Is this a PE teacher thing?  Was this your experience? 

It made me smile.

16 comments:

seattle citizen said...

I heard that guy, Jim Meskimen, too and he was very good! They played a snippet of Meskimen doing Shakespeare in celebrity voices, quite humorous...ladies and gentlemen.

seattle citizen said...

I heard that guy, Jim Meskimen, too and he was very good! They played a snippet of Meskimen doing Shakespeare in celebrity voices, quite humorous...ladies and gentlemen.

Watching said...

This isn't a PE thing, but "I can wait" has gone on for decades!! I always smile when I hear my kid's teachers say this.

Have a great day.

Melissa Westbrook said...

Or "since you see so eager to talk, Miss Westbrook, perhaps you'd like to share your thoughts with the rest of the class."

Melissa Westbrook said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

"since you see so eager to talk, Miss Westbrook, perhaps you'd like to share your thoughts with the rest of the class."

I see the stage was set for Melissa early in life. Perhaps, you should thank this teacher. ;)

Watching said...

"since you see so eager to talk, Miss Westbrook, perhaps you'd like to share your thoughts with the rest of the class."

I see the stage was set for Melissa early in life. Perhaps, you should thank this teacher. ;)

Charlie Mas said...

My high school football coach, Dwayne Lyons, was a real character. He was the quintessential high school football coach. He was an old guy with a beer belly, buzz cut, class ring, and a watch that said "Texas Relays" where the numbers would go. I always reckoned it was a prize he was awarded for winning a race in his youth. He dipped snuff (as did a lot of the guys on the team) and my friends told me that - the off season - he smelled (and acted) like he had been drinking when he taught PE classes.

This was the seventies, and Coach Lyons was a product of his time - not ours. Every member of the football team responded to his orders with unquestioning and unhesitating obedience. He enjoyed absolute authority.

He had a way about him that was rough, crude, and appealing as hell to teenaged boys.

One story (that I can tell) about Coach Lyons:

At spring practice one day he got mad at some kid and told him that he didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. The kid protested "I do too know my ass from a hole in the ground." Coach Lyons was a little surprised that the player mouthed back, but he didn't pause.

"Okay," he said. And he walked over to a muddy patch on the field. He pushed his finger into the mud making a little pit about three inches deep and around like a quarter. "That's your ass." he said. Then he made another little pit right next to it with his finger again. "That's a hole in the ground", he explained. "Now," he turned to the player, "point to your ass." The kid bent down and pointed to the first hole in the ground.

Charlie Mas said...

One day during summer practice Coach Lyons came into the weight room. This was unusual because we never saw Coach Lyons in the weight room. Usually the room was a din of boys shouting and weights crashing, but it went silent as soon as he came in.

He stood just inside the door with his hands on his hips.

"Now boys," spit, "Ah hear that you aren't using this equipment propahly. Playin' grabass an such instead of doin' what you're s'possed ta. That's gonna stop right now."

"This equipment costs a lot of money and I don't like to hear that you ain't usin' it right. So you're gonna start using it right."

"They tell me that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. I say that's bullshit. You jes' shove his head under the water and suck on his ass."

He spit one more time and walked out.

seattle citizen said...

Can we range into the fictional? There's the classic Cheech and Chong:
"Class...ClASS....CLASSS!!! SHUUUTTT UUPPP!"
or the from the infamous Ferris Bueller's Day Off(not to be shown to teenagers because it will give them the entirely wrong idea about what they should be doing during the school day):
"...anyone?...anyone?"
or even, substituting the name of the student du jour for "Bueller":
"Bueller?...Bueller...?...Bueller?...

seattle citizen said...

My math teacher used to say, in the most sarcastic tone possible, "Go home now, and put the book under your pillow and all the answers will seep into your head!"

dw said...

"Now," he turned to the player, "point to your ass." The kid bent down and pointed to the first hole in the ground.

HAHAHAHA! Burst-out-loud funny. Thanks for the laugh.

Anonymous said...

At a time when childhood obesity is at an all-time high and 7 year olds are being diagnosed with adult-onset diabetes, I find it ironic that PE staff positions are being cut by principals. This is due to the need to raise test scores and the ability of site based management (directed by administration) to vote non IB and AP personnel off the island in the face of budget cuts. Look at Ingraham and Garfield (IB and AP), each with only one FTE PE teacher. Some classes had 45 to 50 students. I also feel that this impacts SpEd, ELL, and struggling students for whom PE provides valuable active incentives in school.

So many serious discussions on this blog, and then PE is for laughs. Irked me a little. Disrespectful somehow.

- School Retiree

Melissa Westbrook said...

SR, this was just a light-hearted thread. No disrespect was meant.

Anonymous said...

Melissa, I understand. Rush Limbaugh says people like me need to get a sense of humor.

School Retiree

Anonymous said...

Hey Charlie Mas, I also played under Coach Lyons at Rhs. Found your comments when doing a google search for him. Thanks for the memories.

"Don't tippy-toe through that line!

batman
class of '90