It Gets Better

This is going to be a difficult thread to address and I will try to be clear about why I think it is important.

There has been a heightened awareness in the last month or so over bullying at school over students being, seeming or being perceived as gay. It has been heartbreaking to hear what has been done to young people and their reactions (suicides).

The most visible case has been at Rutgers University where a freshman, Tyler Clementi, was videotaped, twice, by his roommate in an intimate encounter with another male in his dorm room. The taping streamed live on the Internet. Tyler learned of this, contacted an RA but ultimately, for whatever reason, killed himself by jumping off a bridge.

Interestingly, I wouldn't call that episode bullying. It's just a breathtaking lack of kindness/sensitivity and total lack of decency on the part of his roommate (and his woman friend) and a huge amount of cruelty and meanness to have done this to Tyler. Many have felt the perpetrators should be strung up but no, they need to be prosecuted for the actual crimes they committed (videotaping someone without permission and invasion of privacy - they may also be charged with a bias crime because of remarks the roommate made about the taping). I'm pretty sure that society can take care of making sure they know what they did was wrong (kicking them out of Rutgers, not being able to get in another decent school, difficulty finding a job based on their beyond poor judgment, etc.). They don't need to go to jail forever.

BUT, the good news is that Dan Savage, a writer over at The Stranger, started the It Gets Better project. People from all walks, famous and not-so-famous talk about how hard life was for them in middle/high school as a gay person and how it does get better. (Happily, this generally applies to nearly ALL high school kids who don't like their high school lives. It does get better after high school.)

I know some of you may not like this discussion. It may be a personal or religious reason. But the fact is that some kids are getting abused at school because they are perceived as gay (whether they are or not - one of the It Gets Better videos is a straight guy who got harassed because he was perceived as gay in high school). No kid should be worried about going to school because of bullying. (I myself found it quite shocking to hear middle school students saying "that's so gay" for something they found bad or unfavorable.)

If you know a student who is struggling with these issues and needs support, please let them know about this project and that there are people out there who understand their struggle.