Friday, May 08, 2015

In Prom News

I get that we don't want girls going to prom super-exposed.  (And, you would think parents would refuse to buy a dress that was too sexy. )  But we have some real Sarge Marge administrators out there as this story from the Daily News shows.

The girl in the polka dot dress is a LOT more covered up in her dress than in many other prom dress I have seen.  Not wearing a bra?  I'd bet most of the girls aren't.  (I also think it's a pretty adorable dress.)

The girl in the red lace dress looks great and she's pretty covered up but here's what the assistant principal said:

The Harrisburg High School student was reportedly told she was too busty by her assistant principal.
"She said, 'You have more boobs than other girls," Alexus told Penn Live. "The other girls have less to show.'"

Then there is the horrible prom photo of kids with a Confederate flag and guns.  Apparently not all of the parents of the students shown even knew this was happening and were horrified by the photo.  How did this get out there?  Facebook, of course.  From Yahoo Parenting:


“My son told me that all of a sudden, the girl whose house they were at to take the pictures grabbed the guns and the flag, and the parents snapped the pictures,” she says. “Why didn’t the parents stand up and say, ‘Guys, this is wrong’? Do you know what that flag means? Do you know the history behind it?’ It would have been a teaching moment.”

As for her child’s punishment, the mother whom Yahoo Parenting spoke with says she’s still deciding. “But the social repercussions — if a college doesn’t accept him or he’s not allowed to graduate — I won’t fight that,” she says. “It was supposed to be a picture that would remain private, but that’s not how social media works, so repercussions will probably happen.”  

The biggest lesson this mother hopes all the students in the picture will learn is compassion. “The people in our area are very sheltered, and I think they don’t truly grasp that there are people out there who are still feeling the pain of slavery,” she says. “To be flying this flag, it’s going to bring out pain. Compassion is compassion — there are people hurting over this image. I think we should tuck it away and not bring it out unless it’s a history lesson.”

Like her son’s date, this mother believes peer pressure played a big part in her son’s poor decision making. Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, says the excitement of the prom might have made these students especially prone to peer pressure. “Parents should warn kids about times when they’re most at-risk of getting caught up in the moment and making a bad choice. When we’re feeling excited, we’re more likely to overlook the risks we’re taking,” she tells Yahoo Parenting. “So it’s no wonder that the teens, who were probably really excited about prom, struggled to think clearly enough to recognize their poor choices.”

Mom of Student in Controversial Prom Photo Speaks Out

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I had a Seattle (then) assistant principal purportedly tell one of my middle school students that the student " had too much badonk-a-donk to wear a dress that short." It's all pretty ridiculous.

Glad I left

Anonymous said...

If a recent occurence - said Asst. Principal should have a Title IX complaint filed about the comment. There is NO colorable excuse for that comment.

Leslie Harris
Candidate for School Board Director, Pos. 6.
www.harrisforschoolbaord.com
Harrislsh@comcast.net

seattle citizen said...

I know a high school that had an uproar last year when admin, preparing for spring, talked to assembly about dress code and focused exclusively on girls, go so far as to say it was a distraction to boys.
All heck broke loose. Slut-shaming is NOT a viable response to the problem of boys and men being (supposedly) incapable of keeping focus. Anytime attention is paid merely to girls clothing, the inference is that it's he girls fault: distraction, rape...THEY are the cause. Not cool.
Me, I think it's much more effective to talk about an academic environment, generally, and how certain sorts of attire are appropriate in different settings. That said, they're teens expressing themselves...let 'em. As long as EVERYONE'S...uh...private stuff is covered.
We don't require uniforms, so who are we to judge? And if boys (or girls) are distracted by girls (or boys) attire, well, they should figure that out and deal with it.
Or we could require uniforms.